I’m planning this crime…..

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Sooo….. the local council has been replacing the water mains down my street, has been quite a big job. lots of digging holes, watching them fill with the forecast rain, filling ’em back up with gravel, come back next day, rinse and repeat….whatever…

Now, the street that leads off mine has the same name as my best friend’s surname. This corner sign has been lying under a tree on the side of the road for months. Soon they will put it back up, under a streetlight.

She is an awesome chick, lives a few towns away, and I’m a gonna steal that sign and give it to her. She will be very pleased to have that I reckon.

It will involve sneaking over in the midst of night, with a couple of spanners, maybe some spray to help loosen the rusty bolts a bit. I have checked it out on my many walks to the shop.

I give lots to my town, our rates are crazy high for the services we get, I have no moral issue with the costs imposed by my intended actions.

It’s a medium risk operation. There is a yappy dog in the house over the fence , just a few feet from the scene.

I have my dark hoodie ready. I can’t run fast for long distances, but this must be done.

Wish me luck.

Nuggets….

To a dog, chicken nuggets are infinitely more valuable than gold nuggets.

Not so for the human.

Unless that (omnivorous) human was very hungry.

But how hungry must that human be, to choose the gold over the chicken?

If there was no immediate way to convert the gold to food or cash.

Point of starvation?

Which ever one the human chooses, must be pretty damn hungry…….

Falling in love on the small screen…

He sat, staring at his phone. Never before had he been so captivated by a face. He noticed her long, shining, golden hair…. and her piercing blue eyes. Her smile was warm and natural, and a tad cheeky….

But what really had him hooked were the freckles. Perfectly placed on a flawless complexion, he couldn’t take his eyes away. He wanted to see those freckles every day of his life, just as an astronomer wants to see the stars in the night sky. He was falling for her, falling for this face of perfection…..

Then he swiped right, and realised the freckles were actually fly shit on his screen, and he didn’t like her any more…

Renovations….

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Getting renovations done requires the rarities of time, money, and motivation to align in my favour simultaneously….

And that doesn’t happen very often…

Also, I am lazy. I wanted to make a pretty 3 circle Venn diagram to illustrate my point, but I couldn’t be bothered and settled for a picture of a hammer…

I had no idea….

So I put “tic tac flavours” into google images…. mind blown. I had no idea how many flavours of tic tacs exist around the world. Cinnamon… sounds yum. Pizza…. not sure…. Why have we been so deprived in Australia?

Must add that this became apparent to me last night after discovering watermelon flavour at my supermarket. They were shit.

Feelin’ the Love

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I know my doggie loves me

The way he greets me at the door

Cuddles and sloppy nose licks

He couldn’t love me more

But my partner

Not so sure…..

Feedback….

Went to a lovely restaurant

Wined and dined

And all was fine

The waitress asked me

To give some feedback

If I was able

So I threw up on the table.

Father’s Day….

Yesterday was Father’s day in Australia, and I’m glad it’s over. I miss my Dad, gone over 2 years now. And I miss my daughters, who I haven’t seen since Dad’s funeral.

I’m so proud of my girls, proud to be their dad. Lots of people wished me a happy father’s day yesterday, but to not have heard from my daughters hurts, and makes me feel that somehow I’ve not been a good dad….